Learn to like being alone and I promise that you’ll never, ever, ever be lonely again! Let’s talk about some of the amazing benefits of spending time on our own.
Learn to Like Being Alone and You’ll Never Be Lonely Again
Last year when things first went crazy, I wrote about how to embrace being alone, but I didn’t really go into WHY you should embrace it even when it’s not mandated by law. So today, I’d like to discuss that.
Between social media, video calls, and even just texting, we’re living in a world where we can instantly connect with anyone anytime and anywhere. While that’s great for keeping in touch, maybe we’re a bit too connected to each other. We’ve forgotten how to like being alone, and that’s a bit of a problem. After all, there’s really one person we can always count on to be there for us, and that’s ourselves.
Now, I don’t mean that in a depressing “no one is reliable” sort of way. Of course, our best friends, parents/siblings/spouses, and other loved ones will be there if we NEED them, but they have lives, too. They can’t be there 100% of the time to keep us company. If we can learn to like being alone, though, we’ll never have to feel lonely again.
Avoiding loneliness is far from the only reason to spend more time on your own, though. Let’s talk about some of the other reasons to give it a try.
It’s very empowering!
There’s a great quote by author Mandy Hale that beautifully demonstrates this point. She wrote, “Learn to be alone and to like it. There’s nothing more freeing & empowering than learning to like your own company.”
When you’re content with just yourself to keep you company, a whole new world of possibilities opens up. You don’t have to wait around for others or try to schedule around their availability to go see the latest blockbuster movie, try a new restaurant, or even travel around the world. You can just pick up and go. It truly is so empowering and freeing, that moment that you realize that you’re all you need to have an amazing time.
Solitude gives you peace and space to figure things out
Another beautiful quote about being alone goes, “Sometimes you just need a break in a beautiful place alone to figure everything out.” I don’t know who said it, but it’s like they read my mind. Being alone gives you the peace and space that you need to work through tough problems.
Consider this: when Superman and Supergirl need to figure out how to defeat the bad guy, they go to the Fortress of SOLITUDE, not a nightclub filled with people! When you get away from all the noise and opinions of others, you can really focus on the right path for you.
There’s even a scientific study to back this up. Researchers looked at how people think when they’re with others compared to when they’re alone. With others, we’re more focused on the present and less on the past or future. When we’re alone, it’s the other way around. So, in that sense, it can help us learn from the mistakes of the past to find solutions we need for future health and happiness. Dr. Liad Uziel -who conducted the study-explains that we need to find a balance, saying, “One needs a combination of constructive alone and social experiences, as each type of social setting contributes much-needed, unique advantages.”
You always know where you stand with yourself
Again, I’ll illustrate this point with a quote that I love. It goes, “Sitting alone and enjoying your own company is better than be surrounded by fake people.”
It’s often so hard to know where we truly stand, even with those that we’re closest to. I’m not saying that everyone is lying to you, or even that they mean to be fake. Just that we all tend to act different ways around different people and hide at least some of our feelings.
So, in that respect, we can never know with 100% certainty what someone truly thinks of us. At least not until we develop some sort of mind-reading technology (and I’m willing to bet some company out there has it in the works, so that’ll probably happen sooner than we think). However, there is one person that you can always count on to be totally real with you, and that’s yourself.
I actually talked about this a lot more in my post about how strong women would rather be alone than spend their lives with jerks, so check that out.
Walking alone is hard, but it makes you strong
I’ll finish this off with one last quote. It’s actually one of my favorites of all. It goes, “The hardest walk is walking alone. But it also makes you the strongest.”
Yes, it’s hard to learn to like being alone. It’s even more difficult to learn to cope with everything that life throws at us without someone there to back us up. Every step you take just makes you stronger, though. Every challenge that you overcome on your own reminds you that YOU have the power to change your own life. That while it’s nice to have help, you never have to rely on anyone else. That is such an amazing feeling!
Now, I’m not saying that you have to spend your entire life completely alone. We all need people from time to time. However, if you can learn to love your own company as much as you do others, you really will never be lonely again.
Patti johnson says
I enjoyed your article and hope that you write more about being alone. Is it ok to travel alone? Should you got with a tour ? My kids are all grown and moved on with their lives and yes I have some friends but I live alone and like you said everyone is busy doing their things and all my friends are married and when I do get together with them i always feel like the 3rd wheeler so I prefer to just stay home. Lp
Linda Kirby says
My husband passed away last July. I had already traveled alone quite a bit for work so traveling and eating alone don’t bother me. Although I miss him terribly, I am learning to embrace living alone and all the work it brings with it. I’ve become stronger and learned things I never dreamed I’d do. This article is spot on. Being alone allows you to think, something I’ve not had for a very long time. Thank you for the validation.
Cindia says
It’ll be 5 months on Thursday since my Tony passed. It must be fate for me to find this post!!! I need all of the help I can get, learning to navigate the world by myself!!! I’ve traveled outside of the United States alone before but I always had my Tony to share vacation stories with when I returned. He never wanted to leave the doggos in a kennel so I went without him. It looks like a weepy day today. But I’m getting better but by bit!!! I’m dusting off the passport next year and hitting a different country!!! Fingers crossed I’ll be in Greece in September 2023!!!
Cynthia Hughes says
I hope you go, enjoy
Suzanne Duchesneau says
I totally agree about this say as I love being alone every day, even if I condider being happy to be around friends, and I really get along very well with almost everyone. Being our best friend and making sure to never forget about it is very important.
Pamela Lopez says
I need to learn to be alone
Sharon says
It took me many years to get the courage to eat out alone, but after that I felt comfortable. That was before we all had cell phones. A few years ago I went to a matinee to see a movie by myself. I loved it! I was the only person in that theater & could sit wherever I wanted to sit, didn’t have to share my popcorn & there wasn’t anyone there to talk to me so I didn’t miss any part of the movie. 😄 After that I realized we all need some time alone.
Peggy says
I agree with what I say…..but…..when family and people who say they are your friend ignore you when you try to reach out….you need someone who talk to…..you want to know they are ok, but they ignore you…..it’s distressing……because of health issues, can’t even go out for a walk in the nearby woods anymore!! ( my daughter in-law & used to go for walks….
But because of my failing health can’t anymore…..she had to pretty much carry me home last we tried…..)….
Elsa says
Being alone is just making anything that makes you feel so strong uou don’t need anyone just to make yourself happy. No one’s gonna bother you and you don’t need to please others . I’m a loner and I’m living by myself for 8 years. Learn to love yourself first.. you can do whatever you want. Hassle free.
Coralie Bell says
I have learnt, that since my husband passed five months ago, to heal I needed peace and quiet.
The silence was a blessing: Silence unravells the shock and turmoil that surrounds us when we don’t know which way to turn. It has worked for me!
Coralie Bell
Angela Whitfield says
Love it, such a beautiful message, I needed to hear that.
Norah Herbert says
It’s not hard for me. I enjoy my time alone but I realize it s harder for some. I say to myself..it s me time.
Yvette Fortin says
I was married fifteen years and I have been living alone since the eighties and I don’t mind it a bit. I am my own boss and I love it. My companion is a 12 y.o. cat and we enjoy each other company
Diane says
I’m so happy to read this, I lost my husband and being alone is fine but, doing things by myself is where I struggle. I want to live doing things alone and feeling that peace. I just don’t know how to start.
Rosa Casino says
Thank you – this was up lifting . I do like myself and being alone . But I’m still lonely My husband passed 8-10-22.
Some days I do ok for weeks – then it comes in like fog.
I have started eating out some . I have 4 little senior dogs -they keep me busy . I keep telling myself keep going .
Thank you for all the comments they helped .