Successful and happy people have one thing in common when it comes to love, life, and even money. They know their self-worth. More importantly, they never, ever, ever let anyone undervalue them. Keep reading to learn how to put that philosophy into action in your own life.
Never Forget Your Self-worth
I wanted to start this by saying “you are worthy,” in case you really needed to hear it today. True as it is, me saying it kind of defeats the purpose of discovering and embracing your self-worth. I mean, the “self” part says it all!
So, instead, let’s start with one of my favorite Lucille Ball quotes. She said, “Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” I think that’s such a brilliant motto to live by and a reminder that many of us need.
If you’re constantly down on yourself, thinking that you’re not good enough, pretty enough, or just enough, period, you’ll never accomplish anything in life. I know, that sounds kind of blunt, but think about it, you’ll constantly have that little voice in your head saying, “You can’t do it. You’re going to fail anyway, why bother trying?” So, you’ll let fear rule your life and hold you back.
Knowing your self-worth isn’t just about succeeding in business, though. When you undervalue yourself, you’re more likely to let people take advantage of you in other areas of your life. For example, you could end up in a loveless -or worse, an abusive-relationship because you don’t think you deserve better. Maybe you’ll run yourself ragged doing things for others because you feel like you’re not worthy enough for them to like you if you’re not useful to them. Or end up sitting alone at a party because you think you’re not interesting enough.
You get the point, right? All of these things- staying in awful relationships and friendships, not standing up for ourselves at work, even not speaking up when we have something to say- all boils down to one thing- undervaluing ourselves as people.
Even science says it’s important to value yourself
Since I know how much you love studies, before we move onto the next section, let’s just quickly look at what science has to say about self-worth.
- This 2013 study found that self-worth can help boost you out of poverty.
- A 2018 study found that low self-esteem and undervaluing yourself puts you at a higher risk for using drugs.
- In 2019, this one found a link between self-esteem and positive relationships.
Honestly, they’re all kind of “No, really? You don’t say!” obvious, but still, it’s always nice to see research backing up the things we already know.
So, how do we find our self-worth?
I’d love to give you a handy little bullet-point list here outlining the steps to take. Unfortunately, I can’t tell you how to find your self-worth. It’s a very personal journey that you’ll have to take alone. It’s better that way. We all need to spend a little more time on self-reflection, especially during times like these.
A lot of people turn to journaling. Self-discovery prompts are a great way to go, especially if they ask detailed questions. If journaling isn’t your thing, though, try something else. Meditate on it. Read self-help books if they’re your thing. Give yourself pep talks in the mirror. Do whatever it takes to really drive home the message that you are worth it, whatever “it” may be. Just remember, true worth isn’t defined by WHAT you have, but by WHO you are.
Once you’ve done that, it’s time for the second part- never, ever letting anyone undervalue you.
Walk Away from Anyone That Undervalues You
I came across a fantastic quote from Higher Perspectives that actually inspired this section. It said, “Know your worth, you must find the courage to leave the table if respect is no longer be served.” Isn’t that a wonderful way to put it?
It doesn’t always mean cutting people out of your life entirely if they don’t recognize the magnificent person that you are. At least, that’s now how I interpret it. To me, it means that if someone doesn’t know how to treat you with respect, limit your interactions with them, and don’t let them have power over you.
For example, maybe you have a relative- a sister, an in-law, even a parent- that just doesn’t treat you with the respect you deserve. You’ve tried talking to them about it, but they just plain don’t get it. Cutting them out of your life entirely isn’t always feasible, or even desirable. So, instead, limit your interactions to situations that you can control. Stick to “small talk” and leave if they get disrespectful.
Of course, if you can cut them out of your life without hurting yourself or those you truly care about, by all means, go for it. Remind yourself that you’re worth a lot more than they’re dishing out, so you have no reason to feel guilty about walking away.
Also, please (please, please) remember that no amount of “keeping the peace” is worth more than your health, safety, mental well-being. If someone is hurting you physically or psychologically, please seek help in removing that person from your life entirely. There are so many resources available.
Knowing your own self-worth and never being afraid to walk away from those who don’t value you will help you live a healthier and happier life. So, right now, go look in the mirror and truly tell yourself, “I am amazing. I am awesome. I am worth it.” Say it again, and again, and again. As many times as it takes to really believe it. Your future self will thank you for it.
I’ll leave you with one last quote that really sums everything up, “You are always one decision away from living a totally different life.” When you know your self-worth, you’re more likely to make the right decision.