Contrary to popular belief, raising your son to be a mama’s boy is not a bad thing. In fact, you may just be doing him a huge favor! There’s even scientific evidence to prove it. Find out why, along with the benefits that last well beyond childhood.
Raising Your Son to Be A Mama’s Boy Is A Good Thing
In our society, when someone says, “He’s such a mama’s boy,” they rarely mean it in a good way. What they’re really saying is he’s weak, spoiled, insecure, or totally dependent on his mother. A simple search of the term brings up articles with “signs” to watch out for to avoid mama’s boys and tips on “dealing” with them if you still end up dating one. The internet has spoken. Mama’s boys are the worst.
But this is not true at all. On the contrary, boys that are cared for by and attached to their mothers develop a great sense of security. They become emotionally stronger and more independent as they grow up. Mama’s boys are also less prone to violence and have a deeper respect for women. They’re even healthier both mentally and physically. Unfortunately, what’s true and what society believes to be true are often two totally different things.
Society thinks we should feel guilty if we have a mama’s boy. We mothers feel guilty all the time as it is! We don’t need yet another item to add to the list of “things we’re probably doing totally wrong.” In this case, though, rest assured that you have no reason at all to fret. In fact, science says you’re actually doing the right thing.
Science Says Raising Your Son to Be A Mama’s Boy Is A Good Thing
There’s actually scientific proof that the close mother-son bond is healthy and beneficial. Research done by the University of Reading shows that the mother-son relationship is key to emotional development. The researchers analyzed 69 different studies with a combined total of nearly 6,000 subjects. They discovered that kids, especially boys, with secure attachments to their mom had fewer behavior issues overall throughout their childhoods. On the flip side, kids who didn’t have strong bond with their mom ended up with more issues.
“More specifically, our analysis showed that children with insecure attachments to their mothers, particularly boys, had significantly more behavioural problems, even when the behavioural problems were measured years later,” researcher Dr Fearon explains.
If you need more convincing that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with raising a mama’s boy, let’s take a look at a few other studies.
- A 2011 Society for Research in Child Development found that boys who have difficult relationships with their moms were more likely to become teen “delinquents.”
- A 2010 study by the American Psychological Association found that boys that were close to their moms experienced better physical mental health overall.
Let’s look at that second study a little closer, because it has some interesting results.
Mama’s Boys Are Healthier Overall
According to the 2010 APA study, boys who were close to their mothers tended to exhibit fewer of the negative stereotypes associated with “hyper-masculine” behavior. In other words, they didn’t feel the need to act like “tough guys” all of the time. That actually improves both their physical and mental health in the long run.
See, men who were raised hearing things like “be a man” or “boys don’t cry” are less likely to seek both physical and mental medical help when they really need it, according to the study. Boys who had closer relationships with their moms, on the other hand, didn’t feel the need to fit into a stereotype. They were more emotionally secure overall. In other words, they didn’t feel like their masculinity was in question if they actually asked for help when they needed it.
Mama’s boys aren’t as prone to violence
Let me be clear upfront, I am in no way saying that raising your son to NOT be a mama’s boy will increase his risk of becoming a violent criminal. However, a 2018 research paper presented by the APA shows that, based on several studies, hyper-masculinity does tend to breed violent behavior.
One quote from the paper really stands out. “Masculine ideals, such as the restriction of emotional expression and the pressure to conform to expectations of dominance and aggression, may heighten the potential for boys to engage in general acts of violence including, but not limited to, bullying, assault, and/or physical and verbal aggression.”
We’ve already learned that “mama’s boys” tend to be more emotionally secure, so it’s not a leap to assume that they are less likely to engage in violent behavior.
Raising a Mama’s Boy is Totally Okay!
Mothers of both sons and daughters should worry less about getting caught up in “perception” and what other people think. Boys and girls have equal needs and have equal feelings. Why are we still even talking about how we’re “supposed” to raise boys?
I am raising my son to be a “mama’s boy”, and I am very proud of it. I want to make sure he knows it is okay to cry, have feelings, and show his emotional side.
Attachment gives children a sense of security. It makes them feel protected and accepted unconditionally. The bond made by mothers and their children have very unique characteristics and are extremely important for all human beings.
So, are you raising your son to be a mama’s boy?
If you suspect your son is a mama’s boy, be thankful. He will most likely grow up happier, healthier and more emotionally secure. Being a mama’s boy is a good thing!
Mothers have a very unique connection with their kids. Want to learn more about it? Check out my The Reason Why Children Are 800% Worse When Their Mothers Are Around.
Carole says
There is nothing harder than being the wife of a mama’s boy! Mama will always come first. Mama is always right. Nothing you do will ever measure up to mama. Mama does it this way… UGH!
Alex says
Exactly. These women who raise mamas boys only think about themselves instead of whats best for their kid and his future wife. They infantilise their sons and forget another woman has to deal with all of that
Antigoverment says
Totally understand my dad that way mom still with him keep reminding him how grateful he got understanding wife most women dumped his ass by now. Dad got opportunity to to move from America to a high paid job in Canada turned down the offer because he wanted be around his mother who’s a complete narcissist like him. I remind him constantly we could had a far better life there. Mom constantly has to care for him do everything because he has multiple sclerosis in scooter so at least you do not have to feed bath and care for him I love dad a lot but he can be a complete narcissist so thank God you do have to deal with that but can totally understand.
Marina says
I think it’s important to teach all children to be able to be open with, and express their emotions; not just boys – girls have emotional difficulties and struggles too.
J says
Women make terrible parents. They are now raising their sons just like they raise their daughters and thinking that is normal. Your son is NOT a girl and therefore should not be raised like one. You are the reason more boys are coming out as gay and saying they want to be identified as “women”.
Sissy mamas boys make terrible husbands and every woman knows that
Antigoverment says
Exactly know we’re you come from i had close friends ended up that way. Women do make bad parents .
A B says
mamas boys are hell for wives but typical women/mothers only thinking about themselves instead of how her [email protected] parenting will effect another woman in the future
Bob says
Why compare sons to daughters? Girls and boys are very different and should be raised differently. Women who think like you are the reason boys are becoming transgender these days.
Its ok for daughter to be attached and not a son because boys should be independent. How can they lead households and the world when they are still stuck to mommys tit. Women ruin sons with their feminine thinking. Emotions are weakness so you encourage weakness as well?!
Creative Healthy Family says
I strongly disagree with you.
Andy says
Typical woman to ignore countless other studies that disprove this and try to justify her bad parenting with a one study.
Boys are not girls and should not be raised like you weak pathetic emotional cry baby vaginas. Do you also let your son play with dolls and wear dresses? Stupid c unt
Ted says
I cant believe this article. The author is either joking or must be an extreme far left Democrat!! LOL What is our society coming to!
Just me says
As a single mother of 2 girls and 1 boy….I find that you all are ignorant!! All 3 of my kids are different and had to have different discipline and different levels of care. My oldest (girl) very independent as a young child, as a teenager more emotional and cares what people think. My middle, also a girl, more attached to me as a young child, now teenager, could care less what people think about her and speaks her mind and stands up for what she believes in. My girls are 11 months and 15 days apart.
My youngest, boy, totally a mommas boy, but independent, emotional, but still wants hugs from mom when sad. He was taught to be ok in being sad, angry, happy whatever emotion he was feeling is ok. He has been taught MANNERS AND CHIVALRY, which more and more “MEN” are lacking these days. Will any one of them be “gay”…who really cares!! They all came out of me and I will love them unconditionally…I would rather have a mommas boy then some testosterone raging idiot…who doesn’t talk thru their emotions because they will be seen as weak. You are all weak from what i have read. And to you “ladies” who don’t like being married to a mommas boy…. there is probably a reason their mother doesn’t like you… maybe you dress like a prostitute… pretty women was just a movie….lol…so from all us momma boy mothers you can kiss our A#$!. You’re daughters will thank us later in life that they didn’t marry their jock of a father. Haters gonna hate. 😜🤘
Rosanna Spencer says
Thank you!! Well said…I totally agree with you. Single parent as well. I raised 2 girls 1 momma’s boy. wouldn’t change a thing. 💙
Topgun says
😄😆🤣 Too funny. I think it is great you are taking up for raising a “mama’s boy”. I think many times mama’s boys can be seen in a negative connotation. I believe it really depends on how a mother raises her son. Personally, I believe on raising a boy to be confident and independent. To also have manners and to treat a woman with respect. I don’t think each child regardless of the sex is treated or “raised like a girl”. My goal as a parent is to raise my children to be productive, strong and independent. Emotion is God-given and not considered a weakness, it is what makes us human. It gives us the ability to have compassion for one another.
Kevin says
This article is ludicrous in its total content. The publisher and the writer need to look at real life issues for mommy’s boy. When we are born we know very little of life, but when we begin to understand, we reach the bridge of life. Once there we see the men on the right of the bridge and the women on the left. The boys go to the right and the girls go to the left, not the opposite.
The point is, boys should not be allowed or encouraged to go on the women’s side and learn female mannerisms. In early childhood we learn default settings on whatever side on the bridge we belong and we are programmed to remember this. We have a need to return to the default settings because that is where we feel secure in our stress and pain. We think we want something different, but what we do is set up dramas that ensure we end up back at the default.” That’s not to say educated and privileged men are less likely to be misogynists. This is a classless, international and transhistorical fact and can damage any boy/man.
An English professor wrote a book in the 80s and described boy with female tendencies can grow to hate women, and become Misogamist, and marriage does suffer with them because most women will not tolerate men who want things their own way, ways learned from patterns from the mother. They can grow up with narcissistic tendencies and make women’s lives miserable, and you only have to go to YouTube and see it. I could go on because this subject is extensive in nature but I won’t. I think this article lacks anything positive and they certainly have not investigated this subject thoroughly enough.
Fiorella Shaw says
What a load of rubbish, as well as 3 daughters I have 6 boys , I am half Italian so I have smothered my kids with plenty of hugs and kisses, my youngest boy I breast fed for nearly 5 years , he always loved sitting next to me and always enjoyed a cuddle. He is a man of nearly forty and after getting in with a girl does not speak to me and doesn’t want to have anything to do with me. I have sent him so many messages asking at least what I had done but no reply, I have begged him to answer me but no reply, my other children have said to just leave him be, how can I not feel so hurt, my heart is breaking. What do I do.
Logicalshitsandgiggles says
Nice article, well said.
Holy insecurity most of the commenters…the level of insecurity and lack of emotional intelligence screams off the charts. Would suck to be in their life.