Your Kids Don’t Need More Things, They Need More Time with You!

If you’re worried about not being able to give your kids enough stuff this year (or any year, for that matter), let me set your mind at ease. Your kids don’t need more things from you, they need more time with you. When they’re all grown up, that’s what they’ll remember most!

Your Kids Don’t Need More Things FROM You, They Need More Time WITH You!

With the world dealing with one of the worst financial crises in our lifetime, nearly every parent I talk to has the same giant worry looming over their heads. “How on earth am I going to afford the holidays this year when I can barely afford my rent/mortgage?”

While I can’t completely erase that worry (it’s a valid concern and we all need to feel our feelings right now), perhaps I can help set your mind at ease at bit. As I said above, kids don’t need things from you, they just need more time with you. In 10, 20, even 50 years from now, they’ll remember how it felt to be with you far more than the things you wrapped up in shiny paper.

Here’s the thing- you can’t head over to Amazon and pop some great memories in your shopping cart. Well, maybe you can. I mean, they have everything, so it wouldn’t surprise me. However, they certainly wouldn’t be your memories. All the money in the world can’t buy those. You have to make them yourself.

I am a firm believer in giving kids experiences more than things. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that we should never buy our kids physical gifts. I just think we need to put more focus on making memories by spending time together rather than trying to buy them with a shiny new toy.

Like Bruce Perry said, “Children don’t need more things. The best toys a child can have is a parent who gets down on the floor and plays with them.” While that’s pretty much common sense, science does support that philosophy. So, let’s check out just a few of the benefits of giving your kids time instead of toys.

Benefits of giving our kids time instead of toys

It doesn’t take a scientific study to prove that kids benefit from spending more time with their parents, but that doesn’t stop researchers from doing them, anyway! Here are a few highlights.  We’ll keep it short because this is about feelings rather than science. 😊

First, some great news- we’re already on the right track. According to a 2016 University of California study, today’s parents spend more time with their kids than parents did 50 years ago.

As Judith Treas, the author of the study explains, “The time parents spend with children is regarded as critical for positive cognitive, behavioral and academic outcomes.”

• One study found that spending time with teenagers in particular really helps improve their overall well-being.
• This one shows that time together influences your child’s academic success more than genetics or money.
• Quality time together can even help your kids stay fit and make healthier choices in the long run, according to this one.

Here are a few more benefits that show time spent with your kids is WAY more valuable than money spent on them:

• Stronger Bonding: This one is pretty obvious, but worth mentioning anyway. Time spent together strengthens the emotional connection between you and your kids.
• Better Communication Skills: Regular interactions provide opportunities for open conversations, improving communication skills and fostering trust.
• Boosted Self-Esteem: Quality time with parents can boost your kids’ confidence and self-worth, as it makes them feel valued and loved.
• Improved Academic Performance: Engaging in educational activities together can enhance learning outcomes and academic performance.
• Enhanced Social Skills: Interacting with parents helps children develop social skills, empathy, and the ability to understand others’ perspectives.
• Stress Reduction: Spending time with loved ones can reduce stress levels for both parents and children, promoting overall well-being.
• Boosting Creativity: Engaging in creative activities together can stimulate imagination and innovation in children.
• Teaching Values: Spending time together allows parents to instill important values, morals, and life lessons in their children.
• Happy Memories: Most important of all, the time spent together creates a treasure trove of happy memories that children will cherish for a lifetime. That’s far more valuable than any material possessions.

Bottom line, spending time with your kids increases their overall physical and mental health, and helps them become more well-rounded adults in the future.

The great thing about giving time: it’s free!

Remember, giving kids time instead of things doesn’t have to cost a single dime. There are so many totally free ways to make memories without breaking out your wallet. Just off the top of my head, some ideas include:

1. Playing games together as a family. Better yet, make up your own!
2. Going for walks, hikes, or bike rides together.
3. Visiting a beach for a day of swimming and sandcastle building.
4. Heading to a local park for a picnic.
5. Watching old family movies together- or making new ones!
6. Peeking in on virtual zoos and keeping up with your favorite animals together.
7. Teaching each other new skills (yep, even your toddler can teach you some new tricks).
8. Going through family photo albums and asking your kids to share their favorite memories from that day.
9. Going through YOUR old albums and sharing your own childhood memories.
10. Creating a scavenger hunt in your backyard.
11. Building a fort using blankets and pillows.
12. Cooking together! Bonus: you’ll be teaching them a valuable life skill.
13. Have a dance party in the living room.
14. Visit a library for story time or to borrow books.
15. Have a DIY arts and crafts session with household items.
16. Play dress-up with clothes and accessories.
17. Have a photo shoot in the backyard or around the house. Let your kids take the pictures!
18. Visit a local farmers market together! Bonus: picky eaters are more likely to try new veggies when they get to pick them out.
19. Host a family talent show.
20. Have a science experiment day with simple household items.
21. Have a themed movie marathon day (Disney movies, superhero movies, etc.).
22. Volunteer together at a local charity or community event.

Of course, you could always just get down on the floor with them and let them guide your playtime together! You don’t have to do anything specific, just be there in the moment with them. That’s really all that matters.

Also, never underestimate the powerful effect of just having dinner together four times a week. More than just a great way to spend more time together as a family, eating together sets your kids up for future success according to studies.

Ask anyone who lost their parents which they’d prefer- more gifts wrapped up with shiny bows or more time? I’m willing to bet every single one would say, “I’d rather have one more minute than all the stuff in the world.”

Now, get out there and go spend some time with your kids. Make beautiful memories that will last a lifetime, which is a whole lot longer than a new toy lasts!