There’s No Truer Love Than That We Feel for Our Kids

You don’t have to be a hopeless romantic to believe in love at first sight; you just need to be a parent! From the very first moment we meet them, it’s like we’ve known them our whole lives. There really is no truer love.

There’s No Truer Love Than That We Feel for Our Kids

Scientists have spent decades trying to explain “love at first sight” in a romantic sense. They’ve hypothesized, analyzed, and whatever “-ized” thing they do when they publish their results.  Their conclusion? It’s not real.

I beg to differ. While romantic love at first sight may be a myth that’s easily explained away by our poor memories and weird brains, there’s one type that I absolutely believe in: the love we feel for our kids. Whether it’s through childbirth, surrogacy, or adoption, from the moment our eyes fall upon their sweet little faces, we’re goners.

Our children are our truest soulmates.

It sounds weird to say that our kids are our soulmates, because like love at first sight, we often think of the phrase in romantic terms. However, while I was trying to think of a way to explain what I mean by that, I came across a quote from a clinical psychologist that says it all.

Suzana E. Flores told Women’s Health Magazine, that a soulmate is someone who teaches you an important lesson. As she explains, “They can shake up your soul by providing experiences that change the way you perceive yourself and the world. Soulmates challenge you to transcend into a higher state of consciousness.”

No one and nothing can challenge us, transcend us, and completely change how we see the world more than our children. Parenting changes us on a deep level that even our truest romantic love can’t reach. It alters us down to the core and teaches us what pure unconditional love really means. Let’s talk about that last statement a bit more.

Parenting teaches us what pure unconditional love really means

Unconditional love, in the simplest terms, means love that we give freely without any strings. As much as we want to feel that for others in our lives – our spouses, our parents, our even our best friends-let’s be honest; there are always strings attached to those relationships. We my not even realize it until those strings are tugged, but they exist.

With our kids, though, there’s absolutely nothing they can do that will make us stop loving them. Nothing. Yes, we can get angry with them. Sometimes, we may even be so angry that we can’t even look at or speak to them. We still love them, though, no matter what. We’re still there for them when they need us.

Did you know that this deep unconditional love we have for our kids actually has scientifically studied benefits for both parents and children? In a 2009 study, researchers discovered that feeling unconditional love for another activates the brain’s “reward system” and creates positive feelings.

Then, a 2010 and a 2013 study found that kids who receive such love are more resilient and healthy (both mentally and physically) throughout their entire lives. Pretty neat, right?

Being a mom stretches the limits of our hearts

I love this quote from Uma Thurman, it really says it all. She said, “Before I had my child, I thought I knew all the boundaries of myself, that I understood the limits of my heart. It’s extraordinary to have all those limits thrown out, to realize your love is inexhaustible.”

I really believe that kids stretch the limits of our hearts and our love way beyond anything we could have imagined before they came into our lives. In fact, with our kids, there truly are no limits at all to just how deep that love goes. We love them every moment of every single day no matter what. Even when we’re mad at them, we love them unconditionally. Can we say the same about romantic love? Sure, the right person can stretch the limits of our hearts, but there are still limits.

We can love ALL of our children with ALL of our heart

As Robert Brault said, “A parent’s love is whole no matter how many times divided.” When my son was born, I loved him with every last ounce of my being. When my daughter came along, I loved her with every ounce of my being…and still loved my son just as much. So, not only do our kids stretch the limits of our love, they turn our hearts into this magical organ that completely defies the laws of physics.

I mean, you can’t give a whole pie to one person and then also give a second person the same whole pie without taking it from the first, right? But you can give your whole heart to one child and also give that same heart to the next (and the next, and the next) without ever taking anything away from your first child.

You can love your child at first sight without even knowing it!

While researching studies about the unconditional love at first sight that we feel for our kids, I came across a post that basically said we need to stop that “myth,” implying that it was harmful, especially to those who experience post-partum depression. I think that’s important to address, because I never want to make anyone feel bad about themselves or their parenting.

For some, the intense bond and feeling of unconditional love kicks in the moment we lay eyes on our kids. Like I said earlier, we see them, and we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this little being is exactly what we’ve waited for our entire lives.

For others, though, there isn’t that “click.” I want to tell you that it’s okay to feel that way. That it doesn’t make you a bad parent. It doesn’t mean that you don’t unconditionally love your child just as much as others love theirs. It just means that the hormones and your exhaustion are blocking you from feeling that true and deep love right away.

Maybe it’ll take a few hours. Maybe it’ll take days. Weeks, even. But one day soon, you’ll look at your child and it’ll come flooding in. You’ll not only feel it in the moment, but you’ll know that it’s been there from the start.

Love comes in so many forms. Romantic, friendship, familial (for our parents and siblings). But there really is no truer love than that we feel for our kids. Don’t you agree?