Our sons teach us so many life lessons while we’re raising them, don’t they? From the hilarious (like how to avoid projectile pee) to the heartwarming (like how important we are to them), below are just a few of the truths all moms of boys learn early on. Enjoy!
Lessons & Truths All Moms of Boys Know
Recently, I was talking to a few mom friends about what parenting has taught us. One of my friends has all girls, the other all boys. They were having a friendly-yet-heated debate over which was harder. Since I have both a son and a daughter, they asked me to cast the deciding vote.
Honestly, I don’t think either is more challenging than the other. Different, yes, but my daughter is no easier or harder than my son or vice-versa. There are just as many things that make being a boy mom extraordinary as there are about daughters.
That said, the conversation made me think about the different things both of my kids taught me. Since we’re talking about boys today, here are just some of the “truths” I’ve learned while raising my son. I also asked my other “moms of boys only” friends to chime in, since they may have a different perspective.
1. All boy moms get a crash course in thinking fast on their feet
Do you know how every movie depicting new moms of boys has that scene where she’s changing his diaper and he projectile pees all over her? Until I actually had a son, I always thought those scenes were a joke. Surely boys don’t actually do that, right?
One of the very first lessons my son taught me was just how wrong I was. The second thing he taught me is how to quickly think on my feet (and how to duck & cover!), a lesson that definitely applies not only to other parts of parenting but to life in general.
Oh, and don’t think the “lessons learned from pee” stop coming once they’re out of diapers. You have many more wonderful lessons ahead of you, like how to check a toilet seat BEFORE you sit down. 😀
2. Boys can be just as “dramatic” as girls
I remember coming across a “boy mom truths” post years ago that said something like having boys means you don’t have to deal with as much drama. Well, let me tell you, boys can be just as dramatic as girls!
One of my friends says, “I had to buy a children’s anatomy book to teach my son how blood is made just to prove that he would NOT bleed out and die from a paper cut. So don’t tell me boys aren’t dramatic.”
That said, I never really liked the term “overly dramatic.” Kids have very big feelings and they’re not afraid to show them. I think we could all stand to be a bit more dramatic in that sense, don’t you?
3. Toxic masculinity is a very real issue that you’ll think about a lot
While I think as a society are getting better at recognizing toxic masculinity, it’s still a very real issue, and we moms of boys spend a lot of time thinking about it. Most of us grew up in the age of “boys don’t cry,” or “boys will be boys,” so we had to work to recondition our minds to let go of that junk.
We’re actively looking for ways to make ourselves better so that we can raise happier and healthier sons. That alone makes us far more conscious of just how much toxic masculinity still exists. People will tell you that you’re making your son “too soft,” or raising a mama’s boy. My reply? GOOD! I want my son to know that it’s okay to show emotions, and I truly believe that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with raising a mama’s boy.
Hopefully, we’ll do a good enough job with our kids that our grandsons won’t ever hear the words “real men don’t” in their lifetime.
4. You’ll worry about them just as much as you do/would your daughter
One of the things my “daughters only” friends said is that at least boy moms don’t have to worry so much for their kids’ safety. Yes, statistically, there are more violent acts committed against girls than boys in America, but that doesn’t make me feel any better.
Statistics don’t change the fact that I worry just as much about my son when he’s not with me as I do my daughter. Mothers worry, regardless of their child’s gender. Period.
5. Raising sons comes with great responsibility
One of my favorite quotes about raising boys comes from Shannon Alder. She said, “To be a mother of a son is one of the most important things you can do to change the world. Raise them to respect women, raise them to stand up for others, raise them to be kind.”
I take that responsibility very seriously. As a mom to a daughter, too, I do worry about those statistics I just mentioned above. I want to raise my son to be the kind of man that I’d want my daughter to end up with if that makes sense.
6. A son is a son for life, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise
I really dislike that old saying, “A daughter is a daughter for life, a son is a son until he takes a wife.” First, it’s complete and utter bunk. I know plenty of adult men who are still just as close to their moms as their sisters are.
Second, it feeds into that bizarre myth that daughters-in-law are born and sworn enemies to moms of boys everywhere. It also keeps us locked in a weird self-fulfilling prophecy cycle. We think our son’s wife is trying to take him from us, so we treat her badly. He doesn’t want to see his wife hurt by your rejection, so he visits less often. Then we say, “See! She took him from us!” Seems kind of unfair, doesn’t it?
Allison McDonald Ace puts it beautifully in her article on Today’s Parent. She wrote,
“What it really comes down to, regardless of sex or gender–or anything else–is the relationship between you and them. What it has only and will only ever be about is your unique relationship with your son. No one else’s negative experience has any bearing on the outcome of your life with your boys. Full stop.”
7. Sometimes, you’ll miss the daughter you never had
This one comes from a “sons only” friend. She said that she sometimes wonders what it would be like to have a daughter. “I wouldn’t trade my son for anything,” she says. “I love being a boy mom. Still, there are moments where I ‘miss’ my non-existent little girl. Does that make me weird?”
Nope, it doesn’t make her weird at all. In fact, a lot of moms of boys only that I talked to say the same thing. They love having sons, but they do have at least fleeting “I wonder what my daughter would have been like” moments. I imagine that girls-only moms feel the same way about boys, too, though.
8. You wouldn’t change a thing
As my friend explains, “When I pictured raising kids, I always pictured daughters. It took me six years to get pregnant, and I was convinced right up until the day of my ultrasound that I was having a girl.
Then Mr. Winky showed up on the screen, and I was a boy mom. Just like that. In that moment, even in my surprise, I knew that I wouldn’t trade him for anything. He was my dream come true, even if the dream threw in a bit of a plot twist.”
If there’s one truth all moms of boys know, it’s this one. If you could go back in time and choose between having a daughter or a son, you’d choose your son over and over and over again.
Gail says
I’m not a boy mom, I’m the mother of 3 grown daughters. I’m also granny to 8 grandsons, and the one thing I’ve learned is that each one is totally different from the others. Gender makes no difference to me, because all these boys are full of wonderful surprises, and I wouldn’t change a thing.
Becky Vellatti says
I love my son and wouldn’t want anyone different and yes we are extremely close and always will be. He has always wanted me and his father would get upset a little bit because he always wanted me no matter what. My son has grown up to be a healthy strong young man and is in College and I’m so proud of him. Love you son so much and I tell him every day and he tells me. 💜💙
Ann Hofstedt says
Last statement is false . Never would chose sons over daughters
SHARRON VORBECK says
it was the same with us. didn’t want to know the sex of ours but family told us that males were dominate in the family. the surprise was unimaginable!!!! first thing i said was OMG we don’t have a name for a girl!!! no clothes etc!!! was sooo excited i had a girl!!! hubby went out and bought her a beautiful dress to come home in. guess you never believe family!!! best day of my life!!! BTW— we already had a son and this was 45 tears ago!!!
Susie Fitzgerald says
I think that was just meant to convey the fact that once you have your child (son or daughter) there is no way you would change them 😊
Christine Diver says
I agree…and could be “boy moms” POV. I’m a boy mom who also took years to get pregnant with my second boy that I thought was a girl until my ultrasound. So I had One day of being disappointed and by the time by my third boy came along I wanted a boy and knew I was meant to be a boy mom. I have friends that are girl moms and always thought they had it harder. But as that song goes just tryin to keep my daughter off of poles and my son out of jail…daughters can go to jail and sons can be strippers too. I raised my boys to respect women and be honorable and to this point I have succeeded. I also have always thought behind every good man is a good woman… but always thought of that being a spouse.. but mom too makes a good Man😍
holly alford says
I think she meant she wouldn’t change HER son for a daughter
Joan Pagliuco says
“Absolutely. I strongly disagree with that statement Boy or girl, each is special in their own personal way!
Mary Taus says
Our daughter said on our son’s birthday, if she didnt have her brother her world would be less kind and honest. Ive got two great kids!
Karen Calvan says
Thats so sweet of her! I can tell how a great parent you are!
Darlene T Ewers says
I am the mother of four sons only, but the recipient of four daughters-in-law, two grandsons,m three granddaughters, and two great-granddaughters. I would not trade a single one of them for the opposite gender. All children bring beautiful gifts to a mother’s life and I view my sons as the jewels in my crown of glory when I go to heaven. Their wives and my subsequent grandchildren add beauty and richness to my life as a mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother.
Momof4sons says
Some of this is true, however, some is NOT true for all sons and their Mom. Of my 4 sons, my first 2 probably don’t spend even one second of a day thinking about me. I raised them to be self-sufficient, hard-working and caring-they take excellent care of their families. My 3rd son is my sweetheart and my 4th son has special needs, so he will never leave me. I just pray I live a long time and my younger husband lives longer than me, then son #3 will have a dear wife who will help with #4.
Karen Calvan says
May you be blessed with healthy yearsssss ahead of you and that daughter in law of son 3 be just around the corner!
Nora Paz says
How do you know they don’t think about you? Maybe they feel the same way due to the attention you pay to the other sons. And no matter how independent and self sufficient one may be, I ALWAYS needed my Mother! So unless you were a toxic Mom, they would always need you in their lives. Unfortunately they won’t know what they had until you’re gone one day…
Susan Towns says
I have two amazing humans I gave birth to both boys .They are polite, intelligent,kind,caring and respectful to everyone and I love them with my whole being., and my Husband is an amazing human too
Jennifer Thadithil says
I am the mother of the sons, I never once wondered what it would be like to have a daughter. I love my sons and never wanted anything but these three gifts that God gave me. It took me a long time to get pregnant, but when I did I just knew I would have a son. When I became pregnant the second time, My husband and mother was sure it was a girl, but I just smiled. The third pregnancy was a charm, another little boy. Although they don’t understand, they will always be my little boys, who I will love and protect till my dying day. I am so proud of all of them.
Renee Mazonkey says
I feel the same about my two sons !! They are my world … and I was never sorry and looking for a girl !! I was blessed!! ❤️❤️
Lucy says
I thank God for the boy I could raised . Diego is a wonderful person I’m so proud of him.
I think there’s no difference between raising a boy or a girl . I love my son with all my heart . I won’t trade him for nothing .
julie says
I was truly blessed when I had two awesome sons. and I have 2 amazing grandsons. My boys are independent, honest, hardworking, caring human beings. My youngest rings me every day. My oldest lad rings less frrqiently but has more responsibility, with looking after his boys and working full time. There is 9 years between my boys. I had two ectopic and 2 miscarrieso I was truly bless when my miracle child came along
Never give up hope, Miracles can happen
Kali says
I have two of the most amazing little humans, both boys. I wouldn’t change them for the world. I come from a family of three girls and we are very close with our mum and I do wonder if my boys, once grown, will be close to me. All I can hope for is that I’m raising them to be loving, repectful and caring men.
Linda says
Teach your children be honest, trust worthy, loyal & kind, loving, patient,, HARD WORKING ,& the value of a dollar.Respectful. Most of all teach your children to love God with all their heart& to know Jesus died on the cross for mankind’s sins& why.
Martha Staggs says
I gave birth to only one son, and it was a joy to raise him by myself. I believe I did a great job, because he is sweet, hardworking, stands up for the less fortunate, treats his wife like gold and is calls or comes by at least once a week. I was fortunate enough to marry a man with children who came to live with us in the very beginning of our marriage. I acquired another son and 2 daughters. Raising them was quite easy, and I love them like my own. The boy, now a man, is also a good man. The girls are successful and close. I loved them all the same, as they were a blessing in my life.
Helen Sullivan says
I have three sons. Grew up in a household where the only male was my dad, so I told my husband that I didn’t have a clue about bringing up boys. It was true, but you learn, LOL. They are lovely men now, and the two older ones have given us grandkids – to my joy, all the grandchildren are girls so I am enjoying buying them clothes and “girl paraphenalia”. NOW, however, I realise I never developed girl-mom skills like how to braid their hair. But boys or girls, nothing prepares you for the love you feel for your children and grandchildren.
Sharion Suesser says
I am the mother of three amazing men. They are all good husbands and to of them are fathers of great kids. I loved them from the minute I held them in my arms. I will love them with my last breath and God willing I will see them again in His house. Thanks to them I have a wonderful life.
Rania Cable says
I grew up w/2 sisters & 1 brother. My mother hung the moon. But my grandfather, he was THAT man who taught a girl what she was worth & deserved. After 4 yrs of trying, I got pregnant..BTW, my husband had a boy name picked out before he met me. He had all nephews & his sister was pregnant the same time & knew she was having a boy (her 3rd). We opted not to find out what the gender was. My husband kept saying he wanted a girl, but he was 3rd gen only son, so I knew the whole carrying on the name was a big deal. After 17 hrs, my son entered the world. My husband was cheering & crying. My mom, mother in law heard him from the hallway. Needless to say, my son did all the things you listed. But my husband decided to work nights since I worked days, after all we didn’t have a child to not have us raise him. So, when I was done, dad stepped in. I garden, sew, crochet, took college classes (but never cracked a book until he was asleep or if he did his too “coloring beside me) & read. My husband was hunting, fishing, etc. So, he learned from both sides. I admit it seems you lose your son time when he’s younger b/c weekend activities are w/dad a lot. I actually had a friend, who had no kids yet, ask if I was disappointed when I had a son. I told her my heart was full, no room for that. She went on to have 3 boys. 10 yrs later, a family member couldn’t take care of her 13 mo & 2 mo old boys & asked us to take them. The whole family knew that we never tried not to get pregnant again & after 5 yrs endometriosis requires a hysterectomy & that my husband never batted an eye, saying we have enough love, we could adopt to share it. We ended up adopting them, so I had two babies, loaded down bags, carseats, the works. Obviously I had nothing except crib & high chair left of my eldest, so we literally started over. But they so different from each other & our eldest son, so it’s like they were puzzle pieces cut to fill ever corner of my heart. My eldest is 27 yrs old, married after dating 4 yrs, engaged 5 yrs, bought a home. & now has a baby BOY. We must have met his wants & needs b/c he made it a priority to move to evening shift while his wife works days, kinda validated our choices. The other 2 are Jr & Sr in high school now. They spend a lot of time together & share a lot of friends in their little crew, but 1 wants to go non-stop & the other likes more solitude at times. The call each other Irish twins since only 11 mo apart. My father in law, along w/ many other family members came to adoption day. My father in law just teared up & gushed that now he had 3 to carry on the family name. That did bring their total to grandsons 10 granddaughters 0. In addition, 3 great-grandsons! Luckily, I have nieces on my side to do all the girly stuff w/, by which I mean make up, shopping, jewelry, gossip time, & doing the private joke between my sister & I (b/c her 2nd daughter is so much like me) that mom said no, but I can sneak around her. You know, didn’t clean your plate, no dessert..then I sneak her her favorite dessert!
kalihi scorpion says
all i know is that you learn the most in and about life when either parent dies. everything said until then is only an opinion. reality and truth starts after death. so cherish each second with your family. your heart will find a way to remember them kindly!
temp mail says
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