Raising our kids near their grandparents is one of the greatest gifts we could ever give them. Truly, it is! Science agrees, but we don’t need yet another study to prove what we already know. Grandparents are treasures unlike anyone else in our lives. So, while we’ll certainly glance at what science has to say, let’s really dig into our hearts and our childhood to find out why grandparents are so good for our own kids.
Raising our kids near their grandparents is the greatest gift of all
According to studies, raising our kids near their grandparents can be incredibly beneficial to our children’s health, teach them to respect the elderly, and even help us parents get a better night’s sleep. However, none of those things are what make it the greatest gift of all. So, what does? Keep reading to find out. Oh, and if you love this post, you may also love these 25 Wonderfully Insightful Grandparents Quotes That are Full of Wisdom!
Grandparents are a safe harbor
As parents, it’s our job to teach our kids, to mold them, to make sure they know right from wrong. When they don’t quite meet our expectations, it’s our job to correct them. Sometimes, that can make us pretty unpopular with our kids. Sometimes, it can even make them incredibly angry with us, especially if they’re particularly strong-willed kids.
While grandparents definitely want our kids to behave and (hopefully) respect us when we have to correct them, they’re not on the giving end of the discipline. So, our kids can go to them when they’re mad at us and work through those feelings. Think of our groundings as the “storm,” and grandparents as “safe harbor” from it. By letting our kids run over to grandma’s house for an afternoon, it gives everyone a chance to calm down and find perspective.
They know just what to say to make our kids feel better
As much as we try to build our kids up with compliments and praise, to them we’re not the most reliable source of information. It’s hard to count how many timed we hear, “You have to say that because you’re my mom.” Like, just because we gave them life means we’re completely incapable of being impartial. The funny thing is, grandparents are pretty biased too! Yet our kids believe it when they say, “Everything will be fine,” or “You’re perfect just the way you are.”
Maybe it’s all those years of wisdom. Perhaps it’s because they mastered the art of parenting when we were little. Maybe it’s just because that have such a soothing voice. Whatever the reason, it seems like grandparents know exactly what to say to make our children feel better about themselves and how to say it so that they believe it. Raising our kids near their grandparents will help us tremendously.
Grandparents can stand in for a parent who isn’t present
For a single parent- either by choice or by circumstance- grandparents fill a very unique role in their children’s lives. A grandfather, for example, becomes a wonderful male role model for a child who is growing up without a father. While he’s not a replacement for dad, he definitely helps ease the pain of missing an entire half of the parenting equation. The same goes for a grandmother filling in for a missing mom.
They act as confidants and sounding boards
As much as we would love for our kids to come to us and tell us everything, sometimes they just don’t feel ready to share a secret. Maybe they’re afraid we’ll be mad or won’t understand. Perhaps they haven’t quite worked out how they want to tell us. Grandparents make the best confidants and sounding board during those times.
They listen without judgement and offer great advice. If that advice is, “Tell your mother,” they give our kids the courage (and the backup) to do so. It’s reassuring to know that our kids can go to a trusted adult with the tough stuff. It’s even more reassuring to know that if that “tough stuff” involves something dangerous, our parents will loop us in.
Grandparents help kids connect with the past in a more meaningful way
Raising our kids near their grandparents gives them such an awesome opportunity to connect with the past in a way that no history lesson ever could. Even if you happen to have a history-loving kid who enjoys reading about, say, the Great Depression, it’s no substitute for hearing a first-hand account from someone who was actually there.
By learning about the very real impact – good or bad- that past events had on people we love, our children can make more informed decisions when it’s their turn to run the world. Every generation wants the one that comes after them to do better. The only way that’s possible is by learning from the generation that came before.
What if raising our kids near their grandparents just isn’t possible?
Sadly, sometimes it’s just not possible to live close to our parents. Maybe you and your partner are from different places and you can only live near one set. Perhaps your work takes you to the other side of the world. Don’t worry, your kids can still experience the benefits of being close to their grandparents without being physically near them all of the time. You’ll just have to work a little harder to make it happen.
One great way to help cement their bond is through weekly video calls. Thanks to technology that’s easier than ever. During those chats, kids can show off their latest art projects, share major (and even minor) milestones, or just talk about nothing and everything.
If possible, try to plan trips to visit your family. Even if it’s just every few years, it gives your parents a chance to see their grandchildren in person. While you’re there, make it all about grandparent/grandchild time. In other words, don’t plan a bunch of outings with your kids. Instead, plan a few for you to do alone or with your partner. That way, kids have some one-on-one time with their grandparents.
Throughout the rest of the year, make a point to talk about your parents. Tell your kids stories. Show them pictures. Help them write letters to or make cute crafts for grandma and grandpa. Maybe even keep a special memory book filled with things your kids want to ask or tell their grandparents next time they see them.
As long as you take the time to really help your children connect with your parents, their bond will be just as strong whether they live across the street or across the world. Of course, if given the opportunity, raising our kids near their grandparents is the best. Trust me, none of you will regret it.
Moraima Rodriguez says
This is very true. When I was a little girl, I spend all my summers in the hills by my grandparents on my mother side. I can testify to this day , and I’ll be 69 next month, that those were the BEST YEARS of my life.
Creative Healthy Family says
Thank you for sharing 🙂
Lorraine says
I m 67 yrs young. My fondest memories is when my nana would let me stay at her house. I would put my head on her lap and I remember her having long nails and her scratching my head and softly tickling my back. I miss her all the time
Irene Locklear says
We have been blessed,, my husband, I raised ours while their parents worked.. We live in hollering, walking distance.
Lost my husband last year. Grands are grown, they help fill some of the void. Grandson, girlfriend are expecting their first child, my first great grand.
Nicole says
That’s SO beautiful, thanks so much for sharing!! I wish my niece’s & nephew lived closer to me and their grandparents!! I know when they moved 5 hours away it was going to be extremely difficult and it has been. Even with the FaceTiming that we do it just makes us miss them THAT much more!! We’re happy to see & hear them but it’s just not the same as having them to cuddle with and talk to them, in person. I can speak for myself, their only blood aunt and my dad their grandfather we’re grieving….them being so far away and no it’s not as easy as it may seem to just hop in the car and go when you’ve got a sick & disabled individual you have to take care of 24/7!!
My point is, just like the topic, if you CAN raise your kids around their grandparents then DO IT!! There’s no greater reward for them and for the grandparents!!
Roni says
I agree. My girls were raised near my parents. Even when my parents moved to Florida we always went to see them. When my parents passed @ 90 & 94 my girls were blessed and cherished every moment they had together. To me this is what makes a family. Closeness
Creative Healthy Family says
Thank you for sharing your story 🙂
Diana says
I really enjoyed this article. Our grandkids live close and we get to spend quite a bit of time with them. So nice to hear it makes a big difference. When you’re living it you can be unsure of the effect you have in their lives. I know we have an amazing bond with them that I pray will never be broken.
Creative Healthy Family says
Thank you for your comment.
herlene leona garcia says
Its true. I was leaving with my grandmother since childhood. i was happy whenever she let me go with her to the farm. Her passing was a big big nightmare for me. I miss her so much.
Caryl says
MY grand parents were amazing, we lived with them for many years, and when one was left alone, she came back to live with us. My sister and I spent many hours lying in bed with her whilst she told us school time stories. Best times ever.
Marina sequeira says
We have our grand kids 7 and 3 spend their weekends with us. The parents get a break too; and we are over the moon when they come. We are so blessed to have them spend time with us. I too spent all our vacations with our grand parents; and those were happy times. Thanks for the article
Creative Healthy Family says
Thank you so much for your comment.
Ajit Panicker says
Very nice !! I have written a similar post a week back. Talks about the same.
Why should grandparents be around when your kids are growing ?
http://ajitkpanicker.com/2020/01/why-grandparents-should-be-around-when-your-kids-are-growing-up/
Adeeb Haddad says
All what you said is true my kids they love to stay overnight with the grandparents and we always stay in the weekend so they can spend more time with them.and for me I am still feel I miss allot of things and feeling because I don’t see my grandparents for both sides because they pass before I born.
Creative Healthy Family says
Thank you for your comment. I know, I feel sad sometimes too because my parents live far away and we don’t see them enough.
johnnie Conacac says
Spending the night at my Grandparents house was the best time. As a child in a family of 5 it was nice to be special and treated like a king.
Creative Healthy Family says
Thanks for sharing!
Cathy Scaife says
great article. thanks for the reminder. Our grand kids live far away. It is a special bond we have with our grand kids and times together are always special. Thanks for the reminder that distance does not have to separate us in all ways. I am going to make a point to call more often… perhaps once a week starting today. thank you.
Creative Healthy Family says
Thank you for you comment.
Jeanine Swanson says
I never even met my Dad’s parents and visits with my Mom’s were sparse. On my 5th birthday I was given the choice of a birthday party or going to visit Mom Mom and Pop Pop in Pennsylvania. Of course I chose the visit and my Dad drove me from Long Island to Easton, PA for a weekend visit. I am 68 years old now and remember it well. And it brings me to understanding exactly what we mean to them. I now am blessed with 6 grandchildren, 4 of whom actually live in the same compound with me. I am SO fortunate that they do come to me for comfort, while I negotiate the path along parents’ wishes, guiding them on the agreed upon path. After all, parents directives come first, unless, of course, they are crazy, which mine are not. And the love I receive is beyond measure. I am very blessed.
Richard Biron says
We are blessed to live close to 5 of our grand children, 3 are older and busy with their friends, so we don’t see them as often. The younger two, 2 and 4 yrs old, we do get to see the often.
We treasure these times, and can not make ennough memories. We are elderly and hope
and pray they remember some of the times we spend with them. They bring sooo much
happiness, love, and laughter. When we don’t see them we have to talk by phone at least.
We often talk about their visits when they have gone home, to relive the joy they bring! May
God bless them and the parents who realize the importance this relationship brings to so many of us. We are honored to say they love us, and know we love them, AND the parents who see the importance of this relationship!! God Bless!
Sylvia M. Auten says
When I was young, we had the grandmothers and even great grandmothers in our home. They were not put into rest homes.
Sylvia Welch says
I thank you for th 8i s article . I am allowed to see my grandchildren often. My husband however is not allowed to see his only grandchild. It is sad, because it is by no fault of his. He loves his granddaughter and suffers every day he is kept from her. She also loves her grandfater. I have asked on several occasions that the separation be terminated and have always received no positive reply. My husband has done nothing to be treated in this manner. Our daughter agrees that he should be able to take part in her life, yet nothing is done to terminate this painful separation.
At a time of such crisis as we are in, it feels so much more paiinful.
I am grandmother to 13 and great-grandmother to 7. I have been blessed with regular visits at our home and theirs. The older grandchildren even come and take me out to visit and enjoy each others company.
My husband and I have a daughter together and she brighten our lives with his only grandchild. Our hearts are broken and he misses her so much. They used to do so many things together before. She helped him work in the ard and they sang together and listened to music. They were buddies.
Creative Healthy Family says
Thank you so much for your comment. Glad you liked the article.
Naveed Sarwar says
It’s very good thing and needs to spread for every ones !
Tami Smith says
How does this work as we have been raising our granddaughters since they were 2 and 3. They have no contact with dad and contact with mom is always traumatic. They are now 11 and 12 and are very well adjusted and seem very wise and mature for their age. Do you think they will develop problems due to the absence and negatively of their parents.
Rory Geiger says
We’re in the same boat.I had wished someone would reply to your post, as we seem to have the same situation.
The only difference is we take them to a psychologist to open up to the prodding questions, then we discuss the session with the psychologist following the 1on1.
I can’t really decide whether or not it’s helpful,but we don’t know which way to move further.
Chuy Gonzalez says
Thank you so much for the article. I remember my grandmother and grandfather. Although we did not see them much after we moved but we made a point to see them yearly and remember them. I have 2 grandkids and love 💕 them to pieces. I spend a lot of time with them but I will definitely be spending more after reading this article. Will be sharing more stories with them and hopefully soon they can start spending the night over, and looking forward to making threm breakfast and baking with them.
Creative Healthy Family says
Thank you for your comment.
Jackie says
We’ve been blessed. I took care of my granddaughter since she was 1 month old she’s 8 now. Now they adopted a 3 year old boy. Since we are older it’s been harder. So we decided to retire. Just have them once in a while. Our daughter got a babysitter/teacher/housekeeper. Thought oh great. Then she turned on ya blocked us from our grandkids 😢 because we wanted to retire. I pray she gets over her pitty party, and let us at least talk to them on the phone. Are hearts are broken, but Gods has a plan
Marnie says
Do you intend the reader to conclude that close refers to behaviors or geography?
If you mean geography, I’m sorry that’s the case.
If you mean behaviors, that’s a great reminder of how we can assert ourselves to be these important parts of grandchildren’s lives. Unfortunately, I wonder how many readers will interpret the points here can only be achieved when living nearby. That would be an unfortunate and limiting conclusion. Worse, it could stir judgement of those who choose to live somewhere other than nearby.
Sarah Rasch says
Being a single mom, My mom and dad were there for me when I was raising my 3 kids. I dont know what I would have done without them. Now that im a grandma I am very close to my grand children. Just as my parents were to my kids. couldn’t agree with this article more. Were living proof of this
Linda m. says
ThisIs wonderful. Having been brought up by my grandparents, I totally understand this and what makes it even better is my grandson posted it!
Patricia Culberson says
I lived close to my father’s parents until I was 12, then moved to another city and lived one block away from my mothers parents. Every day I went to see my grandmother to help her in the garden or work in kitchen. Sweet memories.! Every holiday was celebrated at their house with 6 families and their 9 grandchildren. Soon, great grand children joined the group. Their house was full and happy.
Now, I have 3 children and I have 7 grandchildren, and 2 great grandchildren. They all live close, within a 2 block area., except for two families. But in close proximity. I see some of them a lot and some not so much.
Yes, family is important to be happy. counting parents and grandchildren =24 people. and, then along came great grandchildren! wow, a full house.
Mary says
I never had the opportunity to be with my grandparents. Now that I’m a grandparent myself, I see my grandkids all the time! Love them! The older 2 even live with me.
Paul Warshauer says
Totally agree. I was raised by my paternal grandparents after my mother died. They were retired so I had plenty of time with them to nurture me, learn from them, and travel a great deal. Their years provided wisdom and a perspective with the “long game” in mind,. Thank you for a well written blog.
Yasmin says
My brother and I grew up living with my dad’s mom and trust me when I say that those were some of the best years of our lives. I remember her every day. She passed away in 1991, I was 16 years old. God bless you up in heaven and happy Mother’s Day ❤️