Moms play so many different roles throughout our lives. As kids, they’re our teachers, coaches, and cheerleaders. They’re our own personal chefs (even if they don’t always take special orders), doctors and nurses. As we grow up, they evolve into something else- friends, confidants, advisers. Throughout our entire lives, they play a role in our lives that no one else can ever quite fill. Read on to find out why you’re never too old to need your mom. Plus, check out some tips on staying close to her even when she lives far away.
Here’s Why You’re Never Too Old to Need Your Mom
Flashback to your childhood and think about how often you said, “I want my mommy!” Whether we were hurt, scared, angry, or just plain sad, mom always knew how to make it better. As grownups, we don’t ask for our moms as often, at least not out loud. We’re told that we have to be independent and figure things out on our own. If we hear a grown woman asking for her mommy, we think that she’s immature. Men have it even worse! They get called “mama’s boy,” like that’s a bad thing to be!
Well, let me tell you, I am an independent and capable grown woman with a husband, a house, and two kids of my own. Yet I still need my mom. Let me tell you why.
Mom is the one friend you can always count on
The only friend who is going to be with you in good and bad times is your mother. Think about it, even the person you consider your “very best friend in the whole wide world” sometimes has other things going on and can’t be there for you the way you need. That’s okay. Everyone has lives of their own and we can’t get mad if that life doesn’t revolve around us.
For mom, though, her life DOES revolve around you. Maybe not every moment (moms deserve a life beyond their kids, especially when those kids are adults), but always at the moments you need them most. If you called up you best friend and asked her to come watch you kids for a few days because you’re sick, she’d be here in a heartbeat…if she didn’t have other obligations to take care of (like her own children). On the other hand, if you called up mom and said the same thing, well, you wouldn’t even have to ask! She’d start packing a bag the moment you said, “I’m sick.”
Your mom loves you unconditionally
Many valuable people might cross your path, but the one that will always be there unconditionally is your mom. There’s a beautiful quote by Helen Rice that goes, “A mother’s love is patient and forgiving when all others are forsaking, it never fails or falters, even though the heart is breaking.” In other words, of all the loves that exists, a mother’s love is among the most intense and deep you could ever experience.
Sometimes our decisions break her heart, even though we don’t mean for them to. We make choices that she doesn’t agree with, but she still loves us. We go down paths she wouldn’t choose for us, but she’s still there to help us find our way back. There’s nothing quite like knowing that no matter what you do, no matter how badly you mess something up, you’ll always have at least one person on your side.
How to Stay Close to Your Mom Even if She Lives Far Away
There’s no denying that you’re never too old to need your mom, but what do you do if you can’t always have her by your side? As much as we’d love to stay close to her (after all, there are some terrific benefits of raising your kids near their grandparents), life takes us to unexpected places where mom can’t always follow. We grow up and move away. It happens. While nothing can totally replace the wonderful feeling of having mom within close driving distance, these tips will help bridge the gap and keep you close.
Schedule regular calls (or better yet, video chats).
Write them down in your planner and vow to never miss them unless there’s a true emergency. Of course, you can always call her outside the scheduled times, but making a plan and sticking to it shows her that she’s a top priority in your life (and vice-versa). If you have kids, schedule separate times for them to talk to grandma. That way, she has your undivided attention during your call and your kids have hers during theirs.
Share the little things with her
Sure, mom wants to hear about your job promotion, the new house you bought, or her grandchild’s first word. However, she also wants to hear about the job you didn’t get, the house you almost bought, and her grandchild’s second word. You know, the things you don’t share with everyone on social media. She wants to be a part of your whole life, not just your big milestones.
Show her that you’re thinking of her every day
Anyone can set up a reminder to send mom a bouquet of flowers on Mother’s Day or her birthday. As beautiful as they are, roses don’t really say, “I am always thinking of you, mom!” Show her that she’s in your thoughts every day by sending her “surprises.” You don’t have to spend a fortune! Mom always appreciated the thought behind the gift more than the price tag on it, anyway. Mail her a picture that your child drew. Tag her in a funny or touching Facebook post that you know she’ll like. Even just a text saying, “I saw so and so today, and it reminded me of you” shows her that she’s never far from the front of your mind.
Share a hobby with her
Find something that you both love and make it “your thing.” Maybe you and mom are both fans of science fiction novels? Start a two-person book club. Love reality TV shows? Watch one together while on Facetime. Perhaps you both enjoy knitting? Share patterns, progress, and finished products with each other. If you don’t have any hobbies in common, ask her what she loves most (besides you) and learn more about it. After all, mom spent hours learning about tennis, ballet, Marvel superheroes, the difference between Cabbage Patch and Garbage Pail kids, and everything else that you were interested in as a child just so she could relate better to you. It’s totally your turn!
Make her a priority
All of the tips above and any other ones that you come up with all come down to one thing-making mom a priority. She doesn’t expect to be number one in your life, even though you’re number one in hers. She understands that you have your own kids now and that they come first and would expect nothing less. However, she’s more than earned her place as the most important person after your partner and kids. If you keep that in mind, you’ll have no problem staying close to her no matter how far apart you live.
Remember, just like you’re never too old to need your mom, she’s never too old to stop needing to be there for you.