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Creative Healthy Family

You Are Never Too Old to Need Your Mom

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Moms play so many different roles throughout our lives. As kids, they’re our teachers, coaches, and cheerleaders. They’re our own personal chefs (even if they don’t always take special orders), doctors and nurses. As we grow up, they evolve into something else- friends, confidants, advisers. Throughout our entire lives, they play a role in our lives that no one else can ever quite fill. Read on to find out why you’re never too old to need your mom. Plus, check out some tips on staying close to her even when she lives far away.

You are never too old to need your mother.

Here’s Why You’re Never Too Old to Need Your Mom

Flashback to your childhood and think about how often you said, “I want my mommy!” Whether we were hurt, scared, angry, or just plain sad, mom always knew how to make it better. As grownups, we don’t ask for our moms as often, at least not out loud. We’re told that we have to be independent and figure things out on our own. If we hear a grown woman asking for her mommy, we think that she’s immature. Men have it even worse! They get called “mama’s boy,” like that’s a bad thing to be!

Well, let me tell you, I am an independent and capable grown woman with a husband, a house, and two kids of my own. Yet I still need my mom. Let me tell you why.

By the way, you may also love: 10 Duties We Have Towards Our Parents When They Get Older

I love my mom quote
I LOVE MY MOM
no matter what we go through and no matter how much we argue, I know in the end, she’ll always be there for me.

Mom is the one friend you can always count on

The only friend who is going to be with you in good and bad times is your mother. Think about it, even the person you consider your “very best friend in the whole wide world” sometimes has other things going on and can’t be there for you the way you need. That’s okay. Everyone has lives of their own and we can’t get mad if that life doesn’t revolve around us.

For Mom, though, her life DOES revolve around you. Maybe not every moment (moms deserve a life beyond their kids, especially when those kids are adults), but always at the moments you need them most.

If you called up your best friend and asked her to come to watch your kids for a few days because you’re sick, she’d be here in a heartbeat…if she didn’t have other obligations to take care of (like her own children). On the other hand, if you called up Mom and said the same thing, well, you wouldn’t even have to ask! She’d start packing a bag the moment you said, “I’m sick.”

It doesn't matter how old you are or what you do with your life, you will never stop needing your mom.
It doesn’t matter how old you are or what you do with your life, you will never stop needing your mom.

Your mom loves you unconditionally

Many valuable people might cross your path, but the one that will always be there unconditionally is your mom. There’s a beautiful quote by Helen Rice that goes, “A mother’s love is patient and forgiving when all others are forsaking, it never fails or falters, even though the heart is breaking.” In other words, of all the loves that exist, a mother’s love is among the most intense and deep you could ever experience.

Sometimes our decisions break her heart, even though we don’t mean for them to.  We make choices that she doesn’t agree with, but she still loves us. We go down paths she wouldn’t choose for us, but she’s still there to help us find our way back. There’s nothing quite like knowing that no matter what you do, no matter how badly you mess something up, you’ll always have at least one person on your side.

A mother's love is a special bond between a mother and her child that can never be broken.
A mother’s love is a special bond between a mother and her child that can never be broken.

Mom is your home and your comfort

Home is where the heart is, and for many, that means being close to mom. Even as adults, the warmth and comfort of being in your childhood home or spending time with your mom can give you such an amazing sense of security and peace. When life gets overwhelming and we just need a break, mom’s home is always open to us.

“A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.”
“A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.”

How to Stay Close to Your Mom Even if She Lives Far Away

There’s no denying that you’re never too old to need your mom, but what do you do if you can’t always have her by your side? As much as we’d love to stay close to her (after all, there are some terrific benefits of raising your kids near their grandparents), life takes us to unexpected places where mom can’t always follow. We grow up and move away. It happens. While nothing can totally replace the wonderful feeling of having your mom within close driving distance, these tips will help bridge the gap and keep you close.

“Mothers hold their children’s hands for a while, but their hearts forever.”
“Mothers hold their children’s hands for a while, but their hearts forever.”

Schedule regular calls (or better yet, video chats).

Write them down in your planner and vow to never miss them unless there’s a true emergency. Of course, you can always call her outside the scheduled times, but making a plan and sticking to it shows her that she’s a top priority in your life (and vice-versa). If you have kids, schedule separate times for them to talk to Grandma. That way, she has your undivided attention during your call and your kids have hers during theirs.

Share the little things with her

Sure, Mom wants to hear about your job promotion, the new house you bought, or her grandchild’s first word. However, she also wants to hear about the job you didn’t get, the house you almost bought, and her grandchild’s second word. You know, the things you don’t share with everyone on social media. She wants to be a part of your whole life, not just your big milestones.

Show her that you’re thinking of her every day

Anyone can set up a reminder to send Mom a bouquet of flowers on Mother’s Day or her birthday. As beautiful as they are, roses don’t really say, “I am always thinking of you, Mom!” Show her that she’s in your thoughts every day by sending her “surprises.” You don’t have to spend a fortune! Mom always appreciated the thought behind the gift more than the price tag on it, anyway.

Mail her a picture that your child drew. Tag her in a funny or touching Facebook post that you know she’ll like. Even just a text saying, “I saw so and so today, and it reminded me of you” shows her that she’s never far from the front of your mind.

Share a hobby with her

Find something that you both love and make it “your thing.” Maybe you and Mom are both fans of science fiction novels? Start a two-person book club. Love reality TV shows? Watch one together while on Facetime. Perhaps you both enjoy knitting? Share patterns, progress, and finished products with each other.

If you don’t have any hobbies in common, ask her what she loves most (besides you) and learn more about it. After all, mom spent hours learning about tennis, ballet, Marvel superheroes, the difference between Cabbage Patch and Garbage Pail kids, and everything else that you were interested in as a child just so she could relate better to you. It’s totally your turn!

Make her a priority

All of the tips above and any other ones that you come up with all come down to one thing-making mom a priority. She doesn’t expect to be number one in your life, even though you’re number one in hers. She understands that you have your own kids now and that they come first and would expect nothing less.

However, she’s more than earned her place as the most important person after your partner and kids. If you keep that in mind, you’ll have no problem staying close to her no matter how far apart you live.

Remember, just like you’re never too old to need your mom, she’s never too old to stop needing to be there for you.

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Reader Interactions

Comments

    • What a timely article at this time. My mom just passed away last week. I couldn’t see her for the last 1.5 years before she died because of Covid-19 travel restrictions, and she passed just a few weeks before we were about to finally get to visit. Your mom is the person who is still on your side, even at the lowest points in your life. Treasure your mom.

      Reply

      • YES, there is nothing in this world that can compare to a good mother! I had one of the finest but I didn’t understand why she was so strict; now I do! Since our mother has passed, we feel like orphans. Please cherish your only mother!!! Hope that I see her again si I can hug her and tell her what a wonderful mother she was and tell her how sorry I am for many things.I love you mom, so very much.

        Reply

  2. Near or far, past or present I shall always treasure our wonderful memories and learn from the moments that didn’t always go on track. I’m blessed to have had my mom in my life, her mother and her sisters well into my 40’s.
    In my 20s I was blessed with a son and daughter All that I have learned from all the matriarchs during my journey as I parent I can now know that the love, traits and funny antics I do I can confidently do with my own. I pray I shall know & feel the love it must feel being a grandma!
    Thank you to the editors for sharing this amazing article!!

    Reply

  3. It’s ironic that I was just thinking about my mom who passed away a months ago and I came upon your article. I loved my mom so very much and I was so blessed to have her 68 years of my life. It has been very difficult losing her .. sure we’ve had our share arguments and differences of opinions, but we loved each other unconditionally. I tried my best to take care of both my parents and every week would drive 1-1/2 hours each way to be with them and to make them smile. Unfortunately they both passed away, my dad in July and Mom in November. My heart is broken, but I could rest my head on my pillow every night knowing what a good daughter I was to them. To all who are reading this article please absorb every word. In a blink of an eye your world can change forever. ♥️

    Reply

      • I lost my mom over 50 plus years ago and I still miss her. Your mother is in your corner and your heart always. I know she watches over me and my children and my grand children Thank you for your article. It reaffirmed thats its okay to need mom even after all the years, the day she passed stll seems like yesterday.

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    • So very true. I’m sorry for your loss of both parents so close together. Know they are near watching over you. Try to think of all the fun memories. I miss my mom and dad but the pain of it will get better.

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    • I lost my mom in April and I’m so lost n torn she was everything to me it was sudden and wish I had seen all the signs but I seen her that day n went shopping with her it was a very different kind of day I will never forget but I cant get pass not being there her last breath my dad n my dad that raised me but never were there I was there till the end I only wish i could of been there till her last breath to she was both mom n dad really above all she was my life God bless you

      Reply

  4. I lost my Momma four years ago…. she is always still with me… however, she gave me an identical twin…. and I just have to say it is absolutely the greatest gift she and God could ever give me. My twin is my soul mate (even though I am married to my best friend). Love you Momma

    Reply

    • I lost my mom 5mths ago,she was my best friend she lived with me for 6+ yrs she had dementia and it was hard but I loved my mom and I miss her everyday I always mention her name everyday in my conversations and I lost my dad 23 yrs ago I miss them terribly I agree I would give anything also to have them back for just one day to let them know how much I love them

      Reply

    • My mother passed away, Jan.1st 2019, I have cried almost every day since, she lived with me & my husband, we took care of her, I made her a promise that she would not go to a nursing home, I asked God to keep me strong enough to take care of her, until she didn’t need me anymore, he answered my prayer. Thank you, dear God for allowing me to take care of her & to have her as my mother. 😪

      Reply

  6. Beautiful article ! thank you
    As I watch my beautiful
    Mum fade away with motor Neurones disease I take not one day for granted !
    Can’t quite imagine a life without her ❤️😥

    Reply

    • I’m so happy to see this article. My Mom passed Twenty years ago and I still miss her. I have felt many times that I want/need my Mom! I’ve felt like I must be a big baby to have these feelings but I see I’m not alone! I really appreciate I’m not alone but it doesn’t solve my issues.
      Mom used to say ‘you’ll miss me when I’m gone!!’ when we were not agreeing on something. I have long known that she was right!! I do miss her so much more than I expect than she or I expected!! I love my Mom.

      Reply

    • I lost my mom in March and my dad in May It’s so difficult not to be able to call and talk with them. Sometimes it was less than 5 minutes sometimes longer yet I just enjoyed saying hi mom or dad it’s your daughter Linda. Today has been a very sad day yet a good day as I reflect on all our good times together Thanks this came at the perfect moment

      Reply

  7. What a beautiful, beautiful article. Keep publishing articles like this. Hopefully, it will help lots of children in their 20’s, & 30’s. I feel like a “homeless” mom with 2 out of 3 children. They contact us solely to watch their kids; drop em off, pick ‘em up, and then rarely another word. Not only do they not share anything with me; they know absolutely nothing about me. What’s crazy is they’ll tell everyone they had great parents. My counselor said it’s because they’re typical millennials – pretty much only think of themselves. I live pretty much every day with a broken heart. So, so thankful for that one son who does contact me about once a week just to talk. Every grown child that does still show love to their parents should realize what a huge, huge blessing they are to their parents. Thanks for letting me vent. It’s a very hard burden to carry.

    Reply

    • Thank you so much for your comment and thanks for sharing your story. We should all love and appreciate our parents. I actually posted a new article today about that. You can see it in my latest posts. Glad to know you like to read my articles.

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    • I lost my mom 6 years ago. I am the youngest of 6 kids, all boys except me. My two oldest brothers passed away prior to my mom. I cannot believe how everything has changed since my mom left. I hardly speak to my brothers whereas i talked to my mom several times a day. It’s hard facing the reality that others don’t share our priority of family.
      I’d love to be in touch with you and talk with you every week. I have a 12 year old son, but I don’t need to drop him off or anything, lol. He’s pretty good at taking care of himself AND taking care of others.

      Reply

    • I experience the same broken heart . It feels like a death to me . I don’t understand how they can be so send absorbed & not make an effort. People do what thereabouts fo and dot do what they don’t want to – it’s like the movie @hes just not that into you” I feel like that. I make effort to be connected yet it’s not reciprocated nearly the same. It’s hard to articulate everything I feel . It simply hurts and curved thought y life would be like this – so empty and disappointed . I hope it changes as they have their own children . I hope I’m still see to know. Your cover touched me as I felt your pain. Just wanted to say I get it z
      With love,
      Robyn
      xoxo

      Reply

  8. Thanks so much for this article. I’m 72 years old and the youngest of 10 kids, now 4 are left including me. I miss mom everyday. Sometimes, the tears come thinking about her. She was a generous person, feeding, clothing, and sheltering the homelesss. The day she had a permanent stroke, she had just arrived home on her 3 wheeler from feeding the homeless. She didn’t drive, so she would cook and take the food to them on her bike. It was irreversible, so she had to be placed in a convalescent home. This really affected me terribly.!!! I visited several times a day for two years until God gave her her wings. I have 7 children and 15 grands/ 6great grands. Only 4 children contact me often. Thank God, they have great jobs, but one, because she has Lupus and had to retire on disability. But, like one replier, 3 always need us to do a favor as they would call it. May God bless you for this article.🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

    Reply

  9. I think it is important to recognise that not all mums behave or moreover have the capacity to behave in the ways in which you describe in this article. Children of mothers with narcisstic patterns experience a distinct lack of unconditional love and often their mothers are not there at all and when they are they can be extremely destructive. My mother chose to remove herself from my life after I had had my children . I asked once and for all that she treat me with kindness and unconditional love , she was unable to do this . Her healing gift to me has been that I have transcended that story and try to be an embodiment of unconditional love to my children and all those who cross my paths in life 🙏🏻💗

    Reply

    • Katie, my Mom was a single parent. Dorothy had a real fun personality but alcohol took over her life. She had an affair with a married man & my sister & I shared a shame in a small town, Hearing comments like Your Mother should be ashamed of herself. My sister married at 19 and I was left at 15 with my Mom. I would fill in her evening shift because she could not. People were very kind to me, they would offer to do the shift for me & actually my first job, the manager gave me a position because she knew the situation at home. I still Love my Mom because her Life was not easy. My Dad died at 39 (liver) he drank himself to death. Another shame in a small town. I can remember my Mom & Dad arguing & my uncles holding Frank up. I learned to be strong very young. & to give my daughter everything I did not have Love Patsy

      Reply

  10. I just have to express how much I really enjoyed this article, and how I come across it and had to share it with my son’s wife, who is going to be having my very 1st grandson in May. I love her dearly are just letting her know how important she is fixing the feel and become, the best thing is ever accomplished 💜 thank you God.

    Reply

  11. Loved reading your article. Not to toot my own horn but I call my mom everyday to say hello and hear her voice and every day she answers my call as if we had not spoken in months ☺️ Warms my heart! (occasionally I’m not able to call) I live in the US she lives in another country. I do it because I miss her and appreciate her so much. I don’t want to be sitting here the day the Lord takes her home wishing I could talk to her because I didn’t make her a priority when she was alive.

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  13. I’m 66 years old. I never felt this way about my mother. I was afraid of her. Never trusted her, never longed for her, never missed her. I just tried to treat my children better than she treated us.

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  14. I am heartbroken. Iam a stage 3 cancer survivor for 6 yrs. I just recently found out I have 2 more tumors. I have a son which was very very close to me all his life, until he moved to Florida suddenly; finding out he was gonna b a father. His last words to me at the airport were ill b back mom. He never came back and it’s been 4yrs he begged me to move down to Florida as he had no family there. So it took alot for me to do but I did it and his wife gave him an ultimatum, which I would never do to a soul. Me or his kids. That is the most evil thing and I’m crushed and miss him and fam so much! I’m scared he will have a really hard time when i do pass and I don’t want him to feel that pain or blame anyone even though I believe it was not his doing.💯 Please pray for my family! & does anyone have advice?

    Reply

    • Thank you so much for sharing your story Lisa. I am so sorry about the tumors and hope you can have them removed and can recover soon. Treatments for breast cancer are really good these days. Stay positive! All I can say is talk to your son. Tell him it is not his fault and try to see each other maybe he can finally visit you or you can meet somewhere else.

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  15. Where is the picture of the pink heart that says – Call your Mom. Remember that you are the only one that knows what her heart sounds like from the inside (?). That picture is what linked me to the article and I wanted to save the picture (but it’s not there once the article is opened. GREAT ARTICLE by the way!

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  16. My mother is 93 and has had dementia for over three years. She lives in a care facility in Orlando near my siblings, and I live in Tucson for health reasons. I feel like I lost her when she stopped being able to communicate coherently over the phone. We were always so close, and now I can only visit her about once a year. This “living death” has been harder on me than when I lost my father 13 years ago. She is not unhappy, as she has constructed an alternate reality that makes sense only to her. But it is very hard on those of us who would love to be to have a conversation that still made sense. I’m lucky to have her, I know, but I miss the old Mom so much!

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  18. My mom was taken home by the angels 14 yrs. ago but it still feels like it was just a few months ago. I am 66 yrs. old and there are still times when I think “I want my mom” or all I want is one more mom hug. These thoughts will never go away no matter how old we are. She wasn’t just my mom, she was also my best friend. So I kinda lost 2 people that day but I know that God needed her and that is why he sent his angels to escort her to Him. I love my Mom and I miss her. I know that there will come a time when we will be together again. God bless all of the people here and everywhere that have lost their parent.

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  19. My mom has had Alzheimer’s for over 10 yrs. She too is content. But I really miss her just like you.

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  20. As I read this article I realize how much I miss as a mom. My own mother passed away when I was too young to remember her. I think from the loss /trauma I was too preoccupied to understand that other people cared for me. I feel I really missed out, I didn’t learn anything about being a parent. I feel I owe a big apology to my children.

    Reply

  21. My Mother means the world to me! I mean she is my world! She’s the only person who understands me. Guides me! Draws the lines for me when I’m lost. She moved to Hilton Head, SC around 13 years ago. This broke my heart. Though we talk everyday on the phone it’s not the same as the feel of her presence. To make a long story short. I don’t think I can live without her. She’s everything to me. She’s always there for me. She loves me like no other. My daughters have their own lives and I rarely see them or my grandchildren. I live in an assisted living facility and ever since my family place me here I rarely see any of them. I sound selfish, I know, but I just love and miss them so. So you see my Mother is always there for me, helps me with anything, and most importantly, listens to me. I love her unconditionally. So you see when she leaves me for the last time I can not live without her! Thank you for reading.

    Reply

  22. Where is mine? I ordered ne months ago. You took my money but I got the shaft. I will continue to warn people about this scam. You have no righ

    Reply

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