Stop waiting for fate to find you. Get out there and make your own destiny. Life isn’t about finding yourself; it’s about creating yourself. Keep reading for inspiring quotes and thoughts about how we can do just that.
Don’t Wait for Fate to Find You. Make YOUR OWN Destiny.
I’ve always had mixed feelings about fate and destiny. On the one hand, it really is such a lovely idea, the thought that whatever should be will be. That someone or something out there is weaving the very fabric of our lives and that this benevolent force will somehow ensure that everything works out.
It’s comforting, especially when things are going so very, very wrong, to think that “everything happens for a reason.” To cling tightly to the platitudes and cliches. To the “Que sera, sera” of it all.
On the other hand, though, I think that it’s too tempting to use the idea of destiny as a free license to just stand still. To use it as an avoidance tool. After all, if “whatever will be will be,” then we don’t really have to do anything to make it happen. It’ll just come to us, right?
Then there’s the lack of control that comes along with trusting in fate and destiny alone. The fundamental lack of freedom that it implies. What gives anyone the right to pull my strings and snip my threads? I am my own person. I am a thinking and feeling creature with my own hopes and dreams. I, and I alone, should decide what my destiny looks like. I and I alone hold the pen to write my story.
Then, I realized- no, I accepted- that if I really want to live my dreams, I have to be the one to make them come true. I have to give up on the idea of finding myself, the idea that somehow who I really am lurks somewhere out there. Instead, I need to look within and use my own two hands to create myself.
That acceptance is what inspired me to write this post, which will hopefully inspire you to go out there and make YOUR own destiny, too.
How to Create Yourself and Make Your Own Destiny
There really isn’t a specific list of rules to follow when it comes to forging both yourself and your destiny, so maybe using “how to” is a bit…misleading? It’s not intentional, I just couldn’t think of another way to word it.
Basically, I’m sharing some thoughts (and, of course, inspirational quotes) that helped me figure out how to become the person I wanted to be and the type of life I wanted to live. Take what you want from them and leave the ones that don’t resonate. It’s all up to YOU how you interpret them.
Dare to dream!
I think this is the single most important thing you can do when you set out to create yourself and make your own destiny. Without hopes and dreams, we’re basically just empty shells, going along to get along.
So, ask yourself, “What do I want in this life? What would make me happy?” You don’t need all of the answers right now, and it’s totally okay if those dreams change later. Just dig deep and find something that you want to strive for.
More importantly, find the courage to follow those dreams
Once you figure out what you want, go for it. Find the courage to take the first step. If your grandest dreams feel too far away and out of reach, go after the smaller ones first. Once you make those come true, you may just find that your biggest ones are a lot closer than you realized.
Don’t look at life as a competition
I love the second part of the quote below, “Life is a journey, not a competition.” Stop comparing yourself to others. Don’t look at their success as your failure. Be happy for them. They’re proof that we really can create our own destiny and make our dreams come true.
Don’t let anyone judge your story
Don’t ever allow anyone to judge your path. They’ll try. Oh, believe me, they’ll try. We humans can’t seem to resist the urge to pick each other apart and analyze each other under a microscope. Decide now, though, that you won’t let their judgment hold you back from being who YOU want to be. Just keep writing your own story.
Make laughter part of your destiny
A life without joy really isn’t a life at all. So, make sure you’re the destiny that you create for yourself includes lots and lots of laughter. Find things that make you happy and embrace them. Never, ever feel like you have to justify them, either. Never let anyone mock the things you like.
Make big, beautiful mistakes
You’re going to make mistakes as you forge your destiny. Don’t run from them. Don’t be ashamed of them. Don’t sweep them away and hope that no one ever peeks under the rug. Own them. Acknowledge them. Accept them. Then use them to help you hone yourself into the person you truly want to be.
Focus on the good more than the bad
A big part of creating myself means focusing on the lesson and not the pain, the good and not the bad. It doesn’t mean that I ignore the things that go wrong or bottle up my emotions. It just means that I try to remember that more often than not, things do actually go right.
Be your own hero of the story
Last, but oh so very far from least, don’t wait for fate to throw a knight in shining armor (literally or metaphorically) into your life. Save yourself. Be the hero of your own story. You, my friend, are no damsel in distress. You are strong, powerful, and brave.
Use your own two legs (again, literally and metaphorically) to walk your path. You are YOU ALONE have what it takes to make your own destiny and create yourself. Don’t EVER let anyone tell you or make you feel otherwise.
I think a small part of us will always cling to the idea that everything will fall into place one day, that we just have to give the universe time to catch up with our desires. It’s hard to let go of the beautiful and romantic idea that everything is already written in the stars. It’s harder still to allow ourselves to believe that we control our own destiny. That everything we are and everything we need to be who we want to be is right inside ourselves right now.
After all, if we can control it, that means we must control it. If it’s not out there for us to find, then we have to look within ourselves. Once you accept that and embrace it, though, there is absolutely nothing holding you back.